i’m so scared of being utterly sad all over again when this wave

of happiness goes away and i’m choking in fear and trying to cry but i know that crying makes no sense given the circumstances so now i’m just feeling dead all over again i don’t think it’s fear i think my panic is getting worse and i think i’m falling into deep loneliness it just feels so deep no one’s gonna get me out this time. given that this is the best period in my life socially and love-life related, i’m pretty sure i long for pain and self destruction.

i’ve been diving thru the sea lookin and this baby navy wavy blue


my favorite colors but they’re turning black and the sea doesn’t taste the same and the waves are drowning me to death but they wait until everything turns black

- ja

I never say Coney Island when it had all its big attractions. But there was something desperate about the boardwalk and I related